Tagged with abuse

Stop it, God

Yesterday my three-year-old came up to me crying because he bumped his head. A few minutes later, he smashed his finger in his toy truck. As I was hugging and consoling him, I sympathized, “You’re just having a really tough time today, aren’t you?” To which he sobbed, “Yeah, God needs to stop doing that … Continue reading

A Not Very Valentine’s Day Post

I hadn’t really planned on posting anything today, but I randomly came across a song this morning that’s really digging in. A splinter in my heart, so to speak. Because this song is like an anthem for those of us who’ve had to walk away from someone we cared about because they’re so broken, a … Continue reading

“Shoulds” Should Take a Hike

I recently quit my corporate job and started consulting. And I got married. To someone with a crazy work schedule. And I moved into his bachelor pad house. And became a Rottweiler step-mom. All good things. And all hard at times. Especially for someone like me. I like clean and I like organized. Routine is … Continue reading

Why Not Just Forget It?

Most of us deal with our past in two ways. Either we get stuck there and let the wounds from it fester and spread infection, or we try to forget our past and minimize its impact on our lives. Most of the time, when I think about my past marriage, it’s like thinking about a … Continue reading

When to Hold ‘Em, When to Fold ‘Em

We all have had relationships in our lives that are consistently wounding. Maybe it’s with a critical mother, a narcissistic sister, or an unreliable friend. And you’ve tried to make it work, but you always just get more of the same. At some point, we have to ask the question, “If the other person won’t … Continue reading

What is Emotional Abuse?

I consider the moment that I realized I was actually being abused as a turning point in my life. Because you can’t change what you don’t recognize. I knew that a lot of what my husband said and did was wrong, and yet, I would not have said I was being abused. The first time … Continue reading

Actually, It Did Affect Me

I had dinner with a friend last night and we talked about my re-emerging eating disorder issues. I told her how frustrated I am that this has all been surfacing again now—when I am in the best place I’ve been in a long time. Happier. Safer. Healthier…and then bam! My eating disorder creeps back in … Continue reading

I am a Survivor

Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed and I think I can’t handle whatever I’m facing, when I think that my eating disorder will get the best of me again, it helps to remember what I have already been through. Because honestly, being in an abusive marriage for 8 years was a nightmare I still struggle to … Continue reading

I Can’t But I Am

Being in an abusive marriage was indescribably hard, and I said “I can’t do this” more times than I could count. Some days, the hopelessness was choking, like an unrelenting pair of hands around my throat. Sometimes I thought about hurting myself, but as a Christian, I just couldn’t do that. So the pain would reduce me to curling up … Continue reading