A Not Very Valentine’s Day Post

I hadn’t really planned on posting anything today, but I randomly came across a song this morning that’s really digging in. A splinter in my heart, so to speak. Because this song is like an anthem for those of us who’ve had to walk away from someone we cared about because they’re so broken, a … Continue reading

“Shoulds” Should Take a Hike

I recently quit my corporate job and started consulting. And I got married. To someone with a crazy work schedule. And I moved into his bachelor pad house. And became a Rottweiler step-mom. All good things. And all hard at times. Especially for someone like me. I like clean and I like organized. Routine is … Continue reading

My Only New Year’s Resolution

Normally I don’t do New Year’s resolutions. It’s hard to take them seriously, because we all know they last somewhere between 24 hours and a couple of months. But I do want 2014 to be a year of intentional growth, and that starts with a vision of what I’m working towards and a commitment (okay, … Continue reading

Perfectionism: Good or Bad? (Part 2)

It took a while, but here’s the follow up to Perfectionism: Good or Bad? (Part 1). #6. You’re a people-pleaser. We find people not liking or approving of us borderline unbearable, so we have trouble setting appropriate boundaries. We end up saying yes to requests and accepting treatment that we secretly resent. We might make … Continue reading

Perfectionism: Good or Bad? (Part 1)

For most of us who have it, perfectionism is probably both a blessing and a curse. The obvious upside is that perfectionism is associated with exceptional performance and achievement. Perfectionists tend to be driven to do whatever it takes to meet the high standards they set. But there are drawbacks to perfectionism too. In a … Continue reading

Why Not Just Forget It?

Most of us deal with our past in two ways. Either we get stuck there and let the wounds from it fester and spread infection, or we try to forget our past and minimize its impact on our lives. Most of the time, when I think about my past marriage, it’s like thinking about a … Continue reading

When to Hold ‘Em, When to Fold ‘Em

We all have had relationships in our lives that are consistently wounding. Maybe it’s with a critical mother, a narcissistic sister, or an unreliable friend. And you’ve tried to make it work, but you always just get more of the same. At some point, we have to ask the question, “If the other person won’t … Continue reading

Preparing for Change – Part 2

Sweet  are the uses of adversity which, like the toad, ugly and venomous, wears yet a  precious jewel in his head. ~ William Shakespeare Here are the rest of my pre-planning thoughts from the other day. #4. Be optimistic, but set realistic expectations. On some level, you have to believe that you can succeed or you won’t. … Continue reading

Preparing for Change – Part 1

I thought perhaps sharing some of what has walked across my brain in the last 48 hours might be helpful for someone else who is preparing for a big life change after a failure or disappointment. And if one of you has some wisdom to add, I encourage you to share. #1. Throw a pity party. … Continue reading

Getting in the Ring with Life

Come Friday, I’m unofficially unemployed. I applied a month or so ago for my dream job, but I found out yesterday that though I made their decision “incredibly difficult,” they ultimately chose another candidate. Once again, I felt huddled in the corner, unsuccessfully trying to avoid a bloody lip from Life’s foot. When does it get better, get … Continue reading